


What Goes Around

by perniciousLizard



Series: Fired Up and Bone Weary [20]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Family Drama, Gyftmas Presents, Lunch, M/M, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 15:17:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8166511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perniciousLizard/pseuds/perniciousLizard
Summary: Sans snoops around on Grillby’s computer, and finds out something he wasn’t supposed to know.  He asks Toriel for advice.





	

“tori, i messed up.”  Sans dropped his skull onto the diner table.  

“Oh dear.” Toriel opened up a packet of sugar and poured it into her tea. “What did you do?”

“i snooped around, and figured out what grillbz’s getting me for gyftmas.  it’s a pretty big deal, and now i’ve gotta figure out how to look surprised.”  

“Oh _dear_.” She didn’t sound that concerned.  "But what is he getting for you?“  

"telescope. like, a fancy one.  i was on his computer and i saw he’d been doing some research and i guess he’s already put in an order.”  

“Is it so difficult to pretend to be surprised?”  

“i’m trying to figure how i woulda reacted, but i’m coming up blank.”

“Hm.  Here.  I will give you my best Sans imitation.”  

Sans looked up.  He needed to see this.  

Toriel slumped a little in her booth.  She tucked her hands into her pockets.  "i am sans,“ she said.  Her voice was deeper.  "sans the skeleton.”  

“wow.”  

“wow,” she repeated.  "that’s pretty nice, grillby.  thanks." 

"ok, first. ouch.  second, you’re not getting how nice this telescope is.  i want to let on that i’d, i dunno, dump grillby at the alter to marry it instead if i could.”  

“That is perhaps not how you should word it.”  

“but check this thing out.”  Sans got out his phone and found the picture he had saved.  

“Did you give it that sparkle filter, or was that part of the advertisement?” she asked.  

“look.  it’s normal to be proud.”  

She took his phone out of his hand and started flipping through his other photos.  

“uh.  hey.”

“Oh?  Is it rude for me to just look through your things without asking?”   She held up the phone and showed Sans a picture of himself and Grillby.  It was from the bowling rink.  Grillby was, solemn faced, pretending to hold Sans’ head like a bowling bowl.  Sans had to sit on the floor to pose for it.  "This is adorable.  May I have it?"

"uh.”  

“Oh my, you are actually a little sentimental, are you not?  Look at all of these." 

"i already got that i messed up, tori.”  

“That was my original point but now I am just going to look through all your pictures because I am enjoying myself.  I believe I am the one who has learned a lesson, today.  Being nosy is fun!”   She held the phone up high while she looked through them, so Sans couldn’t reach it.  "Oh my!  You are not wearing a shirt in this one!  I am scandalized."

Sans was 99% sure she was looking at a picture from a beach trip everyone had taken months ago.  Toriel had also been there.  Toriel was probably actually in the background of that picture, if it was the one he was thinking about.  "nice, right?  but you better be careful.  who knows what kind of pics i got on there.”  

He could probably get his phone back, but he’d have to make an effort.  She knew his greatest weakness.  

She stopped, abruptly.  "I suppose I don’t mind invading your privacy, but his is another matter."  She handed Sans back his phone.  

She must have landed on one of the shots he had of Grillby sleeping.  He should probably separate those out and password lock them.  

"Honestly,” she said, “I believe if you just seem happy about it, it does not matter if you are properly surprised.  I doubt he expects you to be over the top.  Say your thank you and then set it up right away, so he knows you care for it." 

"i guess that’d work.”

She nodded and sipped her tea.  "I do not believe you will find the… _scope_ of the problem is less than what you were thinking."

Sans snorted.  "nice.  guess i’m just _magnifying_ it in my skull, tori.”

She snickered and accidentally sloshed a small splash of tea water onto the table.  She carefully wiped it up, gently cursing her clumsy paws.  "Oh, I do find myself wondering something.  What is your planned gift for Grillby?"

Sans went still. "shit,” he whispered.  

“Sans!” She gestured at the children in the booth behind him.  

“whoops.” He decided not to mention her swearing.  He rested his skull in his hands.  It felt too heavy.  

“What did you get for him last year?”

“apron.  couple books,” Sans said.  "one a those, uh, headbands with mistletoe you can get."  A few other things.  Junk.  Grillby hadn’t gotten him that much, really, either.  Stuff Sans wanted, sure, but not like fancy telescope level.  He’d cooked stuff he knew Sans liked.  It had been pretty low-key.

What the hell did Grillby want, anyway?  And if he figured it out and got it, wouldn’t that make it pretty obvious he knew what Grillby was getting him?  

"I love those!” she said.  "What an interesting tradition."

"yeah.  jeez, i’d say this is more stress than it’s worth, but…”

“You put little cartoon hearts all over that picture,” Toriel said.  

“yep.  guess i’m sunk.”  

“Poor Sans. Your hot boyfriend is buying you something nice for Gyftmas.”  

“it’s the worst.”  

She reached across the table and patted his arm.  "He would not mind some…kitchen gadget, perhaps?"

"…eh."  Sans scraped at his plate with his fork.  "look, he gets his own stuff.  it’s not even like i could just look up something nice and get him that.  he’d have an opinion on it already.  we get along ‘cause as far as kitchens go, i just want there to be food in 'em.  so…i’m just going to leave him to it.”  

“…I see what you are saying, but the gift he is giving you…is a sign he is showing an interest in one of your interests, is it not?”

“sure.  but.  look, i’m trying to be nice here.  so i’m not getting him some kitchen thing he has to pretend to like, tori.  i gotta go with something else.”  

“I do not actually know him very well,” she admitted.  

Sans shrugged. “i’ll figure it out.”  

She frowned.  "Sans, what about this?  Since your problem began because you were being sneaky, perhaps that is the only way to a solution?"

"i think i like the way this is going.”  

“The obvious answer is to simply ask Grillby what he would like for Gyftmas.  However, if you ask, it would be suspicious.”

Yeah, Sans figured him suddenly being considerate would be a pretty big red flag.  

“If someone else were to ask, it would be another matter entirely!  I could tell him that my child wants to get him a gift, but they are not sure what he would like.  It might give you a little bit of an idea where to go?”  

What would Grillby suggest to a kid?  Probably…a car?  That was something you could buy with a kid’s allowance, right?  "ok."  Couldn’t hurt, though.  Anyway, then Grillby’d get something nice from the kid, so it was default not going to be a waste of time.  

At least now the problem was out of his hands for a while.  He could just relax and worry about it later.  

 

–

 

"It is truly a shame that our schedules are so different,” Toriel said.  She sliced Grillby a piece of pie and set it in front of him.  

He nodded.  

“Frisk and I both enjoyed the recipe you sent along with Sans.”  Sans had made a few additions to the recipe before it reached her, but his handwriting was obvious enough that she was able to figure out what the recipe card was supposed to say.  

He nodded, again. “……thank you……for all the pie.”  

“I hope you get a chance to have some before Sans eats it all,” she said.  

“…yes.”

She wasn’t sure if that was _yes, I get the chance_ or _yes, that is also something I hope_.  

"Would you like a glass of wine?" she asked.  It wasn’t standard, with her lunches, but she was not about to offer him coffee or soda.  

He seemed to consider it, and then nodded.  "…….."  He was preparing to say something, so she waited by the table.  "…sometimes…Papyrus gets to your pie…first.  He says…'you can barely taste the eggs…in this quiche’…and half of it is gone…"

"Oh no!”  She laughed.  "You would think he would know by now!"

"…when he finds out you made it……he knows…"

She opened one of the top cabinets and got out a bottle of wine.  It was not fancy, but it wasn’t the bottle she used for cooking, either.  Grillby hopefully was not a wine snob.  She poured him a glass, and he sipped at it.  She couldn’t tell from his face if he liked it, but he took another sip after a minute.

She sat down across from him.  "Are you ready for the holidays?” Toriel asked, getting right to the point.  "I am feeling a little overwhelmed!  I still have not chosen a gift for Papyrus."

"…I am…mostly ready.  I found obscure types of pasta for him."

"That is a good idea!  It is a shame I cannot steal it.”  She laughed.  "Oh! That reminds me.  I believe that Frisk would like to get you a gift, but they do not know what to buy."

"…Frisk?"   Grillby sipped his wine, thinking.  "………candy?"

She tried to keep her disappointment inward.  That made sense as a suggestion for a child, but she had been hoping for something more useful.  "Ah, you have caught me.  I was actually wondering a little what I might get for you.”  

He shook his head.  

“No, I insist! Sans is very dear to me, you must know, and so how could I forget about you on such an important holiday?”

Grillby looked up at her, surprise apparent from the way his fire whipped around in the still air of Toriel’s kitchen.  He seemed genuinely touched.  “……candy…is still fine……or…a tie?”  

“I see!”  Well, she could tell Sans that Grillby was very invested in getting candy for Gyftmas.  "Well, perhaps I will try to figure out something myself, so it is a surprise."

She changed the subject to his business, and to his mother’s upcoming visit.  He was not the most easy conversation partner, but he made some effort to ask about her, as well.  

"…he said…you had a good date…recently."

"Oh?  Oh!  Well.  It turned out that my 'new friend’ used up all their charm on the first date,” Toriel said.  "There will not be a third."

He nodded.  

"Did you ever attempt…internet dating?  I am finding the results mostly unpleasant.”  

He nodded, again.  “…undernet.  there weren’t…enough people.”  

“I did not get a chance to use undernet much.  I was not even aware there was a dating site on it.”  

“…i tried…up here, too.  But I didn’t have much time for dating.”    

“But you _did_ try it out?  Did you date any humans?”  

He thought about her question and then held up one finger.  

“How did that go?”

He tipped his head to the side and made a “so-so” gesture.  

“Yes, that has…also been my experience,” she said, sighing.  

“…he was not very…open-minded….for someone……flirting with fire….”  He shrugged.  "…but it was just one date."

Flirting with fire?   She couldn’t tell if he was making a joke.  

"…I couldn’t judge all of them…from that…"

"Yes.  Well, with how my luck has been, I will be able to judge them all as terrible very soon.”  

He brightened, laughing.  

“Oh, I’m sure it will work itself out!  I have plenty of time, after all.  I need to relearn so much after such a long break.”  

“…it isn’t…comparable.  But…I remember a similar feeling after......an end.”  

Toriel hadn’t dated in longer than Grillby had been alive, but she remembered how long a year or two would have seemed, when she was younger.  It _could_ be insulting that he compared their situations, but the feeling of alienation was probably similar enough, at its core.  There were other complications, for her, but she did not want to talk about them with an acquaintance.  

“…I treated it like…a hobby….when I dated a lot,” Grillby said.  

“You mean, it was just for fun?  That is what I am trying to do,” she admitted, “But they are making it difficult.  Perhaps I am, as well.  Apparently, I am _intimidating_.”  

He looked her over and nodded.  

“Well, thank you very much!” she said, laughing.  

“…at first.”  He started to say something else, but gave up on it.  

“I have not been a queen in a very long time,” she said.  "I am a schoolteacher and a mother, now."

"…teachers can be…intimidating," he pointed out.  

She sighed.  "I suppose most people were not lucky enough to escape having a bad teacher or two.  It is a shame.”  

He nodded.  

She wondered if she invited Grillby over more regularly, if he would tell her about some of the awful dates he had been on.  Most of her adult friends had found their partners without this particular type of struggle.

He finished the last of his pie and sipped at his wine.  She told him about a prank Sans and she had played on Frisk, a few days ago, and he laughed.  It _would_ be nice to have more adult friends, she decided, especially ones who appreciated her sense of humor.  

 

–

 

Grillby sat alone, in a booth, in his favorite restaurant.  He had his phone set out on the table and kept checking the time.  His brother could at least text him if he had decided not to show up.  

Well, that was it, wasn’t it?  He turned his phone over in a fit of irritation and ordered his lunch when the waiter stopped by.  

He sensed a strong source of heat entering the building, and knew it had to be his brother, but couldn’t shake being annoyed.  Grillby had no idea why he had thought this was a good idea.  

“Hey.”  Braise sat down.  "Looks like I’m a couple minutes late.  Took Mom half an hour to figure out an outfit for the kid."

Babysitting issues. Grillby relaxed.  Their mother was taking her grandchild on a daytrip around the city.  "I already ordered,” he said.  

“Should’ve figured,” Braise said.  "What’s good at this place?“ He grabbed the drink menu and started flipping through it.  

For a while, they kept conversation on the food and other neutral topics.  Grillby asked about his niece, and Braise had plenty to say about her.  His brother becoming a father had given them a topic they could discuss without their usual bickering.  

By the time their meals arrived, they had run out of comfortable topics.  His brother shifted in his seat, uncomfortable.  

"Ok, what’s this about, Grillby?  You don’t invite me places.”

“I have a favor to ask.”

“That’s kind of funny, hearing _you_ say that to _me_.”  Braise relaxed, more comfortable now that he knew the reason he was there. 

“Yes.”   _Hilarious_.  Grillby felt like there was lava churning in his gut.  

“It’s about Mom, right?”  

“How…how did you guess that?”  

“Well, what else would it be about?  If you need money, I’m not really the guy, am I?”

“True.”  

“Thanks.  I’m actually doing pretty okay for myself.”

“I’m still not borrowing money from you." 

"Great.  So, what’s up?”

“…I need you to tell her something for me.”  

“There’s a trick to communicating with Mom.  It seems tough, at first, but once you get the hang of it, you’re golden.  You grab your phone, dial her number, and say whatever you’re thinking after she picks up.”  

“I’m trying to avoid an argument.”  

“That’s a little tougher.  My advice there is:  Don’t bother.  Just get it over with." 

Grillby shook his head.  "If you won’t help, just say so.”  

“I didn’t say that.  I just want to make clear that you’re being a kid.”

“Fine.  You’re perfectly clear,” he said, annoyed.  

Braise started to make some headway on his lunch.  "Hey, this place is pretty good."

"I know.”  Grillby tried a bite of his own food, but his insides weren’t going to settle until he got this over with.  He had practiced how he was going to word it, but they sat in silence for a few minutes while he pulled himself together.  "…I need you to tell our mother to stop asking about children."

"She’s doing the pushy grandma thing?  She never did that with me, you know.  She just thinks you want 'em and wants the news when it’s going to happen.”  

“It isn’t going to.”  

“Ok.  Is it him?”  He shoveled some food into his mouth.  

“I–”  Grillby broke off, before he even started.  He didn’t want to be angry with his brother either.  

“Woah.  Hit a nerve, huh.”  His brother was staring at him in mild alarm.  

“It isn’t…anyone’s business why we aren’t going to have children,” Grillby said. 

Braise leaned forward.  "Ok.  Sure."

"She’ll imply it’s because he’s lazy, and then I will get angry and not talk to her.  I am trying not to do that,” Grillby said.  

“That isn’t it, then?”  

Very slowly, word by word, Grillby grit out his answer.  "He raised his brother alone after his father died.  It isn’t that he’s lazy about this."

"Getting the impression this is a sore subject.”  

“Yes.”  

“She’s going to be curious.  Mom always just wants to know what’s going on with you, you know.  You just have to give her something to work with.”  

“She can wonder all she wants, so long as she doesn’t do it out loud, around me. Then I can tell her Sans and I are getting married and it won’t be _miserable_.”  

“Oh, hey, congratulations.  I guess.”  

“Thank you.  I am very happy,” he said, clipped.  

“Ok.  Sure, I’ll tell her.”  Braise shrugged.  "Think of it as a present.  Give me something to work with, though.  If it helps, I don’t care if you have kids or not.  Hey, it works out in my favor, actually.  I can get you to put more money in _my_ kid’s college fund." 

Grillby had already started looking into a savings plan for her.  He was not going to mention that.  He sighed.  "He…”  How could he start to explain this?  Sans was a private person.  "His…health is poor."  In a number of different ways.  

"Oh.”  Braise leaned back and adjusted his glasses.  He looked Grillby over. “That’s pretty heavy.”  

“Yes.”  

“You could, uh…”

Grillby shook his head.  "We’ve been over it.  It’s not his health, exactly, but…the long term…"  He trailed off.  He didn’t want to talk about it.  

"Jeez.  Like…he doesn’t think he’ll make it long term?”

“It’s more like…”  That wasn’t actually that far off, in an odd way.  "It’s…something like that?  But not exactly?  He…values his privacy.  I shouldn’t…"

Braise swore and rubbed under his glasses.  "Look, I’ll try to keep Mom from bringing it up again.”

“Thank you,” Grillby said, surprised.  

“She means well.  You get that, right?  But, yeah, she’d want to figure out how to fix it.”

Grillby thought that she knew very well when she was crossing a line, and when she was just going to upset him, but was able to convince herself that crossing that line was for his own good.  He wasn’t sure how his brother lived with it.  He’d apparently moved back in with her and had driven her down on her last two visits.  "She can’t."

"Nah.  Hey.   Pay up, and let’s get a real drink somewhere.”  

Grillby didn’t want to go drinking with his brother in the middle of the afternoon on his day off.  He _was_ trying to have a better relationship with his family, though.  

He remembered Papyrus telling him that sometimes if someone was holding their hand out, and it was gross and covered in slime or grease, sometimes you just had to take it because if you waited, they might not offer it again. Papyrus also recommended wearing gloves all the time.  Grillby wasn’t sure that had anything to do with the message he was trying to get across.  What could the gloves represent?  Take your family’s hand, but remain emotionally distant?  No, he was probably literally recommending Grillby wear gloves all the time.  

Well, whatever Papyrus had meant, the first part was good advice.  Grillby nodded and got out his wallet.  

 

–

 

“Can I go play?”  Braise’s child dropped her head onto the table next to her empty plate.  Grownups were talking, and it was boring.  

“Yeah, get out of here,” Braise said.  

She jumped down off her chair and started pulling toys out of her suitcase.  They had very carefully put them away before lunch, and they were on the floor again in seconds.  Braise planned on taking her on one last trip in the city, before they left, but he’d only taken one bite of his room service sandwich and his mother hadn’t even started.  

“They should wear their good black pants for dinner,” Searily said.  

“They’re dirty.”

“The blue skirt?”

“Got food on it.”

“The jeans will work, then.”

“She burnt half of one of the legs off yesterday.”  

“I think this place has a washing machine somewhere, for the pants.”

“I’ll just grab something when we’re out.”  

Searily peered through her glasses at her grandchild.  "Oh!  If you’re going clothes shopping, get a few things.  There’s so much variety here.“  Braise didn’t think his mother’s new glasses were doing much, but she was going to keep having opinions on what people wore until the last bit of sight left her.  He respected that.  

"Sure.”

She suggested a few places they could go.  They both watched the kid slam her toys against each other.  "Was it just me, or did Grillby seem nervous when he invited us?"

"He’s got a lot going on.”  Braise shrugged.  "Oh, hey.  Do me a favor and don’t bring up him having kids, okay?"

"What?  He knows I’m just teasing.”  Now she was leaning in towards him.  

“It’s a sore subject, I guess.  He and the skeleton both kind’ve want 'em, but they can’t.”  He shrugged, again.  

“They can’t?”

“Yeah.  He didn’t get into why, much.”

“Okay,” she said.  "If it’s a ‘sore subject.’"  He had expected her to press more.  "But…he mentioned this to _you_?"

"Remember that hangover?”

She brightened, clearly amused.  "Oh, yes.  He drank too much, too?"

"It was pretty funny.”  

His kid started wailing.  She had managed to snap the wheel off one of her trucks.  Braise melted it back on for her.

Searily seemed to be thinking through what he said.  Well, he’d done what Grillby asked.  It was up to her to decide not to push the issue.  

 

–

 

Searily had been waiting for months to be told that her son and Sans were getting married.  Everyone local to them knew already, and commented about it occasionally on social media.  She didn’t go online much, and reading small text gave her a headache, but she wasn’t  _completely_ oblivious.  

She had some idea why she hadn’t been told, now.  It was possible Grillby had been worried she would tease him about children, or ask about whatever issue she was not allowed to know about.  

It went well, she thought, but the same could not be said for lunch the next day.  Grillby left suddenly.  He remembered that he had to check “something” before he started work.  This happened almost immediately after she made a few poorly considered comments.  Not about children, but she had found a different sore spot.  

Sans stayed.  He wasn’t done eating.  He sat across from her and dipped his fries in his soup bowl.  He’d slurped down his soup as soon as he got it and had dumped an entire bottle of ketchup into the empty bowl.  

“I didn’t mean to make him angry,” she said.  Did Sans dislike her?  He was going to be her son-in-law, but she had no idea.    

“eh, he'll be over it by the dinner rush.”  

She wasn’t so sure.  Her son could hold a grudge.  

“anyway, he’ll be around tomorrow to say bye, even if he’s still heated about it." 

"You know this for a fact?”

“yeah.  you’ve said worse stuff and he’s stuck around.”  He took a sip of his soda.  

They’d gone for an early lunch.  The place had been almost empty at the start, but more people were starting to fill the space.  Searily wasn’t done with her own food.  Grillby’s plate sat half empty.  

“I don’t know why he gets so upset.  He’s sensitive.”

Sans snorted.  "ok."  He took a big bite of his burger, which was less distressing for her to watch than him sipping through a straw.  

"What?  I wasn’t even criticizing him.  And how am I supposed to know how to not hurt his feelings if he doesn’t tell me what I did wrong?”  

“eh. let’s not get into that.”  He gestured at her food.  "you gonna eat all your fries?"

She dumped half of hers onto his plate.  

"thanks.”  He grabbed a handful, dropped them in his ketchup bowl, and started fishing them out.  

“I just want to have a better relationship with him,” she said.  

Sans outright laughed, and she felt like she had been slapped.  " _hoo_ boy.  that’s something.  i sure misread you."

"What do you find so funny?” she asked.  

“you aren’t kidding when you say you don’t get him, if you think what you’re doing’s going to give you what you want.”  He shrugged. “none of my business, though.”  

She was burning a little hot, so she made herself take a few bites of her lunch and calm down before she spoke again.  "Tell me what you mean."

"…uh."  Sans glanced around the restaurant, and then looked at her.  "sure, ok.  how do i put this?”  He dug another soggy fry out of the ketchup and started it towards his mouth, pausing halfway.  "well, mom – can i call you mom?"

"…fine."

"thanks.  see, i figured what you wanted was grillbz to listen to you.  that’s way different than wanting 'a better relationship.’”  The fry made it to his mouth.  

She looked away.  

“ok, let’s see.  oh, i got it.  let’s say the circus is in town.”

“What?”

“you say to me you want to see some clowns.  why not?  they’re great.  so you head off and end up at some, uh, city meeting and you stand in the middle of the room and shout at the suits there _'look at all these clowns_.'”  He shrugged.  “you’ve really gotten your message across, what you think about politics.  but then you go up to me again and you’re like 'i wish i’d gotten to see some real clowns.’”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“that’s the situation.  the circus keeps hanging around, but you keep shouting in city hall to make your point instead of buying a ticket.  if you want what you say you want, you’re going for it bass ackwards.”  

“Why didn’t you just say that?” she asked, frustrated.  

“maybe grillbz’s wrong about everything, and you’re right, but you keep going the way you’re going, next time you look for clowns you’ll find one in the mirror." 

"I should have known you were just pretending not to dislike me.”  

“hey.  if i didn’t like you, i’d just leave it,” Sans said.  "you remember that family wedding i went to, years ago?  where you broke poor heatsman’s heart?  see, i didn’t know grillby as well as i thought i did, either, but i’ve figured some stuff out since then."

She crossed her arms over her chest, and waited.  

Sans chewed on another fry, thinking.  It made a squelching noise.  "k.  he wasn’t having that great a time.  overworked – not that you can really trust my judgment on that one, heh – tired, and all his friends were getting hitched or having kids and they didn’t have time to hang out.  not that he had time, either.  so i didn’t get this, but i kinda won the lottery when i asked him to see a movie.  another few months, he’d have figured out himself he was lonely and would’ve found someone else.  anyway.”  He cleared his throat.  "he’s not that into the idea of spending time with you guys, but decided to go see family.  if you keep in mind what i’ve said about the state he was in, i wonder how things would’ve gone if instead of pulling what you pulled, you were nice to me and acted happy to see him?"

She didn’t answer.

He finished off the last of his burger.  "i didn’t care.  i was just there for the open bar.  looking back, though, if things had gone different, well.  it would’ve been a good time to start fixing whatever went wrong there, between you two.”

“He never tells me anything.  When he’s upset, at least I get something out of him.”  

“see, that’s what i _thought_ you wanted.”  

“I can want more than one thing.”

“you’d get both if you played a longer game here, mom.”  

She twitched when he called her that.  

He shrugged.  "so long as you keep hurting him on purpose, he’s gonna protect himself."  He finished the last of his soda, and she realized he was done.  "welp.  that’s it for me.”

“I’m not hurting him on purpose.”  What an awful way to word that!  

“whatever you want to call, uh, saying and doing stuff you know he’ll hate to get a reaction.”  He stood up.  "anyway.  it’d be nice if you two worked it out before the wedding, but i’m not putting down a bet."  He wiped at his mouth with a napkin and tossed it back down on the table.  "see you later.”  

He left her with the bill.  Her son was marrying a jerk.  

 _However_.  Regardless of the hurtful things Sans had said, and whether or not they were true, she decided that she was fine with him.  

He was a slob with no job and no prospects, who made terrible jokes and wore the same clothes nearly every time she saw him.  But Sans was a jerk who said that being in a relationship with her son was like “winning the lottery.”  He was a jerk with good sense.  

She sent a message to her son, apologizing for her comments.  If Sans was correct, it wasn’t going to be enough.  

What he had told her hadn’t given her a solution to her main problem, which was that having a conversation with Grillby was like trying to cross a field filled with deep puddles without her glasses on.  

She would try to step with a little more care, but if she was too cautious, she would never get anywhere.  Would she?  

 

–

 

“just my usual.”  

Grillby nodded.  When he came back with Sans’ food, he leaned against the bar.  The lunch rush had slowed down, so he had a minute.

“hey.”  Sans reached into his pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar.  "tori tells me you’re not getting enough of this."

Grillby took it and looked it over.  "…she asked about Gyftmas presents."  He stuffed it into the pocket of his apron.  

"already?  wow.”

Grillby shrugged.  

“but since we’re on the subject.  you liked that fancy place, right?”  There was one fancy restaurant in the city that served monster food.

“…that fancy place,” Grillby repeated.  

“you know, the uh–”  It had a name, and it ended in “Inn,” but the script on the sign was as fancy as the place itself and unreadable.  It started with an A and had more than one S in it, so Sans tended to call it “asshole inn” when he wasn’t around kids or Grillby.  

“…”  He always thought Sans was bad-mouthing the place.  

“inn.”   He knew the real name now, since he’d had to look them up and call them, but he didn’t plan on ever using it.  

“…yes.  It was fine.”  

“k.  got us reservations for gyftmas.  since we’re all jumping the gun this year.”  Even though he’d called so early, they had almost been out of places.

“……………you did?”  Grillby didn’t try to hide his surprise.  

“yeah.  kind of thing you have to set up.”  

“…I…see?”

Sans shrugged.  

“…I had been planning on cooking, but…”

“yeah, that’s why i’m not making it a surprise.”  

“What is Papyrus going to do?  Is he coming with us?”

“he’ll be busy helping his friend test out how fire-proof alph’s new kitchen is.”  

Grillby straightened out his shoulders.  

“rude, right?  anyway, he’s not sitting at home crying into cold cereal on gyftmas, if you were worried.”  

He nodded.  "…but…now I need to think of something nice to get for you."

Sans stared at him.  He couldn’t read much from Grillby’s expression.  He was pretty good at being sneaky; Sans had to hand that to him.  If he hadn’t already found the telescope box (and very carefully opened it and checked the contents) hidden in the back of closet, he might’ve been tricked into thinking Grillby had decided against getting one for him.  "yeah.  if you don’t have to get a second job to pay it off, it’s not worth it.”  

“…i’m sure i will find something you like at the dollar store.”  

“you’re the best, gz.”  He winked.  Time to change the subject before Grillby started thinking too hard about Gyftmas.  "oh hey sorry, by the way.  i might have gotten myself on mom’s bad side.  after you booked it."

"…what did you do?"  Grillby asked, curious.  

"might’ve roudabout called her a clown.”  

Grillby covered his mouth with his hand.  "………."

"yeah.”

“…maybe I will rummage through some _nice_ trash for you…for Gyftmas.”  

“wow.  you still pissed about what she said?”

“…I accepted her apology.”  

“ok.”

“…but…yes.”

“maybe she’ll be mad enough at me she’ll bring a better husband for you to our wedding.”

Grillby tried to hide that he was laughing.  "I hope he’s handsome."

"uh, hey.”  Sans snorted.  

Grillby reached out and touched the middle of Sans’ forehead.  He pushed enough to tip Sans’ skull back, but not hard enough to knock him off the bar stool.  "…two husbands…is better than one."

"sounds like too much work,” Sans said.  His forehead stayed warm for a while after Grillby took his hand away.  

“I _am_ very busy,” Grillby said.  "I will have to turn him down."  His brief break was over before Sans was ready.  

Sans finished his lunch.  Grillby’s translator sat down next to Sans and they chatted, idly.    

Grillby had seemed interested enough in the restaurant idea that the issue was resolved, in Sans’ mind.  Grillby’s family was gone again, so they didn’t have to deal with that for a while, and the wedding was well off in the future.  Too far away yet to think about.  Things were going kind of good.  

He couldn’t really believe he’d let himself get worked up about something as mundane as a Gyftmas present.  

"You and Grillbz must be very good friends!  I always see you talking!”  The translator, an advanced form of a Vulkin, sounded cheerful.  It made the room even hotter, but it actually understood Grillby well enough to translate for him.  

“yeah.  we’re pretty close,” Sans said.

“Oh!!  How nice and loving!”  

“heh.  we’re getting married.”  

“Oh??”  It looked like it thought Sans might be kidding, but then dismissed the notion.  "That’s so wonderful!"

"thanks.”

“He’s so warm and handsome!  You’re lucky!!”  

“uh, yeah.  look.  he’s cute and all, but.  the two of us can’t have a _no pun_ _marriage_.  it just wouldn’t work out.”  Sans had trouble not laughing the whole time he made the joke.  He had been waiting for days for someone to hit on Grillby to give him an opening.  This was close enough.

“Okay!”  It smiled.  "Full of puns, then!  Do your best!!"

"you know what?  sure.  we’ll do that.”  

It spewed some friendly lava and smoke poofed over its head in the shape of a heart.  Sans took out his phone and typed out his great joke for Toriel.  

“I hope you have a pun marriage!”  The translator said when Grillby stopped back over.  

He misheard.  "I am still planning, but I am sure everyone will have a good time.“  

"it’ll be a party, right?  not a _pun_ ishment,” Sans said.  

Grillby stared at him.  "…it is going to turn out to be both, it sounds like.  I’m going back to work."

Sans blew him a kiss.  

"How romantic!”  the translator was all smiles.  

Grillby shook his head.  "…that describes Sans, yes."

Sans raised his ketchup bottle in acknowledgment.  


End file.
